By Kristi Woods
Have you ever felt unwanted? Maybe someone else’s “not you” landed heavily on your heart? Ouch! It hurts, doesn’t it? None of us like to be turned away, unincluded, or tossed aside. In life, it happens. Still, it stings. But within it sits a growth opportunity for faith.
Years ago, I landed on the receiving end of a high school sweetheart breakup. With jaw quivering and a valiant fight fending the flow of tears, I crumpled. (And goodness, the ugly, tight, sore throat feeling accompanying the fight against tears…ugh!) Hearing words that sounds like, I don’t want you anymore, hurt.
No one likes the label of “unwanted.” When rejection lands in our lap, it almost always stings. But what happens afterward proves paramount–and either helps or hinders our faith growth.
Nursing Unwanted Wounds
I nursed my breakup wound for a long time–much too long, to be honest. Its impact nestled in and infected my true identity for three decades–too long.
I never felt good enough. The situation caused me to feel like a piece of trash tossed out the car window, left sitting exposed and alone in a ditch somewhere. But it wasn’t “his” fault. The battle for my identity as a child of God uncovered my own heart issue. I stood in the middle of a spiritual war and hadn’t a clue. But the Holy Spirit changed that.
After God revealed the battle, I looked back and thought, What was I thinking?! Why did I carry the burden so long? Don’t worry if, like me, you’ve carried a burden for a long time. God redeems the years the locust have stolen. He remains mighty to save.
He saved me from feeling unwanted, and He’ll save you too.
Releasing Unwanted Burdens
We aren’t meant to carry the burden of feeling unwanted. Jesus is. You and I are designed to carry the joy and assurance of God. Our true identity stems from His love.
What baggage sits in your arms today? The burden of feeling unwanted? Why not allow Jesus to carry it?
Whether we hurt for an hour, a day, a year, or more, God reveals and heals hurts. He reveals our problem, the lie we’ve believed–because feeling unwanted is simply a lie spun by darkness. Then, He heals us right in the place in which we have need. And after healing? We run in the beautiful freedom found only with God Almighty.
At our core, freedom and peace are the pastures in which we long to run. Running there remains possible–with God.
Do you feel the sting of rejection from a spouse, friend, employer, or even someone within the church? If so, run to our faithful Father and set your need at His feet. Due to my own healing, I’ll shout from the mountaintops, “Ask for revelation and healing. It’s well worth it.”
Aids for Healing When We Feel Unwanted
When the feeling of being unwanted rises, there are a few “automatics” to grab.
- Remember God loves you.
John 3:16 assures us that God so loved the world. That includes you, me, and all the folks we encounter. When we feel unloved by others, God remains true with His steadfast love. Always.
- Refuse the temptation of wayward feelings.
Our identity isn’t based on another’s view of us. Forget those feelings. After all, a whole throng of folks got it wrong when it came to choosing kings.In the Old Testament, the majority pushed for Saul as king because he looked good on the outside. And they reaped the harsh consequences of that choice. But God swooped in with a man after His own heart: David–a shepherd boy of no consequence, an unusual choice for certain. But God saw the heart and King David proved a win/win for all. View situations with the truth of God.
Set the situation at the feet of the One who has strength to deliver you. Ask for help. He’ll answer.
Below are three scriptures to help you as you find healing from Above to overcome feeling unwanted. Read them. Believe them. Cling tightly when you’re tempted to feel tossed aside.
3 Scriptures for Overcoming when you Feel Unwanted
They come from the One who truly loves us: our heavenly Father. Review each one. Write, pray, and profess the ones resonating most. And simply rest, knowing “God has this.” Allow my testimony to be proof, friend. Here are 3 scriptures for overcoming:
- “Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 WEB)
Our battle isn’t against the person or persons who rejected us. It isn’t against ourself or flesh and blood. This battle rages between good and evil, and we stand in the middle. Remember, our adversary seek to devour us, and if rejection works, he’ll use it. Don’t allow it. Refuse those feelings of being unwanted. Set your thoughts elsewhere–on the love of Jesus Christ.
- “Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Cor. 3:17 WEB)
There’s something about freedom. We feel it. Freedom causes us to think the best of others, forgive well, harbor no ill-will to others or ourself, and find peace. With Christ, we find a place of desired inclusion, regardless of what sins we’ve committed.Rejection attempts to bind us, to enslave us. Its yoke feels heavy, not light. But where the Spirit is, we find liberty. Cling to the Lord, not rejection.
- “For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 WEB)
This last verse might very well be the first verse. It all begins with love. And our Father loves us with such an intense, lavish love, that He accepts us even when we’re at our deepest, darkest, filthiest spot. God loves you. Even when others appear not to, you are loved and wanted. Always.
Be encouraged, friend, as you fight the good fight and grow in your faith.
Kristi Woods is a writer, speaker, and Jesus girl with a heart to see Sunday pew sitters become Monday through Sunday worshipers. She offers encouragement to walk deeper with God at www.KristiWoods.net and writes regularly for Crosswalk.com, iBelieve.com, and Wholly Loved Ministries. Kristi, her husband, and their three children survived a nomadic, military lifestyle and have set roots in Oklahoma–where she keeps an eye open for tornadoes and good chocolate. If you battle feeling unwanted, grab her free 3-Day devotional, Removing the Sting of Rejection here.