Today I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend, Carmen. Carmen and I met through Compel (an online writing community) and realized we were both Louisiana girls. Carmen is a true gem. Not only is she a writer, but she’s a life coach who seeks to give women hope in the midst of life’s uncertainties. She is beautiful inside and out. I know you’ll be blessed by her testimony of overcoming!
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8, NLT
On March 4, 2012, I wrote this in the front of my So Long Insecurity workbook, “I choose to read this book because I have struggled with insecurity my whole life. At the end of the book not only do I want to be more secure, I want to be able to spot insecurity clearly when it pops up in my life.”
As I re-read that portion of my letter to myself, I’m asking the same questions you are, “Can you spot it? Are you more secure?” Oh how I wish I could answer those questions with a resounding, “Yes!” I know you wish that as well. Don’t we all wish that someone would have finally found the right prayer or the correct affirmations to cure the heart pounding, take-your-breath-away chill that overcomes us when our “What will I do if…becomes larger than our “What will God do if…”
I married at sixteen and finished growing up in the role of wife. Insecurity was packed neatly in my honeymoon trousseau. I dare not leave it behind. I couldn’t. I didn’t know life without it. In the beginning of our marriage, the fear of abandonment followed me as a shadow. My imagination was prolific. I am the scenario queen. In all transparency, I have walked myself through (within my head) almost everything that can happen in life. A morbid rehearsal of pain and brokenness. I want to be ready.
Ready for what? All the what ifs.
Am I the only one who wants be ready, feet planted firm, when the rug is pulled out from under her? Be prepared when we get the gut punch that makes us want to sink to our knees? Can I get a witness? I have lived a few years and have been married thirty-nine of them. I have rehearsed, fretted, planned, and tried to be ready for the ax to fall, and every time it’s fallen, I have not followed the script. But, I’m getting so much better at following the truth.
How do we go about overcoming insecurity?
Isn’t it perfect that overcoming is an action verb? A word that denotes a process. Y’all, I’m pretty sure we will never completely overcome insecurity. If we are prone to it, we need to gather tools to work through those feelings.
Here are 3 things we can do, today, to respond with strength instead of hysteria and wisdom instead of foolishness. How do we deal with feelings of insecurity, valid or unfounded?
Find out the truth
There can be a lot of panic in rumor and speculation. One of the first questions I like to ask myself is, “Carmen, what’s the truth? What do you know for sure?” Once I have discovered the truth, I can either exhale and go forward or try to not hold my breath and seek wisdom for my next step.
Instruct our hearts
Whether our fears are valid or unfounded, we must have a talk with our hearts. If the fear is unfounded, I ask myself, “What or who are you afraid of?” What are you afraid of losing?” Beth Moore says, “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid something or someone is going to be taken from them?” Do those statements resonate with you? During the times when what I have feared has happened (you know, after I have tried to stop holding my breath), my question becomes, “What do I know about God and His love and care for me?” This is the time we remind ourselves that God loves us and hates it when we are hurt. Right in the beginning is when we grab hold of this truth – no matter what happens God is our hope and security. We tell ourselves that God has not been caught off guard and He will never abandon us. We submerge ourselves in Christian music and scriptures that speak to our situation. Only God can be trusted to never fail us. Listen, this is the time we look back on where we’ve been and where God has carried us. How do we prepare ourselves to instruct our hearts? We begin today deepening our relationship with Jesus. Listen friends, this is one of those times we need to invest in being ready. The more we know Jesus, the more we know His character.[bctt tweet=”The more we know Jesus, the more we know His character.” username=”Alisa_Nicaud CarmenHorneNow”] To know Him is to trust Him.
Did you know that there is power in perspective? Our perspective affects our response to our circumstances 100% of the time. This is where we choose how we will respond. We look at it in the light of what we know about Jesus, His love, and His promises. Sometimes, peace does not happen on its own. We must decide. When we are tossing around in a hurricane of emotions and hurt, calm will be a choice. I love this verse:
They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure; they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. Psalm 112:7-8 NIV
How would your life change if you stopped your foe, Insecurity, like she hit a brick wall? And, when you stopped her you told her, “I know the truth. I have instructed my heart on the truth. Move on, Insecurity. I choose peace.” *Book Reference – So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore – Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
About the Author:
Carmen Horne serves women as a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach. She is passionate about helping women learn to change their perspective on the unexpected. She is a contributing writer for Sweet to the Soul Ministries and Life Letter Café. Carmen has been published in 101 Secrets to a Happy Marriage, Thomas Nelson Publishers, The Message magazine, Just Between Us magazine, and several online websites. She is a wife and mom who loves nibbling dark chocolate and sitting on the beach.