Learning to Be Confident in Who You Are

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Are you confident in who you are? You were born for a purpose, created by God to do great things. Here's tips for learning to be confident in who you are.

Have you ever had this thought …. I wish I was more like (fill in the blank)?

Most of my life I have battled with my “strong willed” personality.

As a young girl I was known as bossy—a term used for strong leaders who want to control everything and tell everyone around them what to do.

For years, I truly thought I was the only female in the world wired this way.

I constantly questioned why I had to be so aggressive.

I began to despise who I was.

Most of my friends were fun, steady, sweet, or studious.

I really wanted to be like them, but when I attempted to imitate their behaviors, it always came across forced and fake.

Because it was.

God never designed me to be like them.

Yet there was still a constant struggle in me to find that balanced place where I could blend in, rather than stand out.

Learning to Be Confident in Who You Are

Are you confident in who you are? You were born for a purpose, created by God to do great things. Here's tips for learning to be confident in who you are.

When I decided to follow Jesus, the conflict in me intensified.

How was I supposed to submit to my husband and still be the same girl God designed?

I almost felt like He was asking me to be two different people.

Of course, I fought the submission process, which led to all kinds of issues in my marriage.

I always felt like I was fighting. Always pushing.

Something about this demeanor seemed almost barbaric to me, but it was who I was and I didn’t know how to make it stop.

I resented this in myself.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Sometimes our strengths can appear to be weakness when we look at them through natural eyes.” quote=”Sometimes our strengths can appear to be weakness when we look at them through natural eyes.”]

Eventually I learned to tame the bossy when it came to my husband. However, the resentment toward my personality remained.

But God never makes mistakes in His creation. He intricately created each part of us with perfect intention in mind.

The problem wasn’t with how God had created me, but that I refused to embrace how He created me.

I wanted to be like everyone else.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 NIV

It’s amazing how God can change our perspective in an instant when we seek Him on a matter.

A few nights ago, my husband and I finally sat down to watch War Room.

It was during this movie that God truly gave me a glimpse as to why he created me strong.

After the scene where Miss Clara admits her reason behind helping Liz, I heard God clearly speaking to my heart, “This is why I’ve created you strong. Not so that you can fight people in the flesh, but so you can war against the enemy in the spirit.”

It made so much sense.

Divine moments that I had experienced over the years suddenly flooded my mind.

Waking up praying for people in the middle of the night.

The random church lady telling me, “You are small in statute, but mighty in spirit.”

Divine connections with intercessor prayer warriors.

Yes, it was all becoming clear.

I was made with intent. Created for a purpose.

God did create me feisty, but for a reason.

Not so I could fight in the flesh, but in the spirit, through prayer and declarations.

This has become one of my passions. I love to pray for people.

Do you believe you were made with intent?  Have you resented the way God created you?

I think at some level we all have things we want to change about ourselves.

But ultimately we have to confidently embraced who God made us to be if we want to walk in our purpose.

Know this, you were made with intent. God has a beautiful plan for your life, far surpassing what you can imagine. He knows all your talents and all your quirks.

He can and will use both!

Trust in Him, my friend. When you do, you will find rest in who you are.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT


Can I pray with you today?

Father I thank you that You have fearfully and wonderfully created each woman reading today. You have a purpose for each one of them, not one of them is an accident. Allow us to see the beauty in your creation of various personalities. Help us to embrace who we are, and not try to be what we are not. Thank you Jesus we aren’t all alike. What a boring world it would be! We come against any lie from the enemy that tells us we don’t fit in because we don’t act a certain way. Help us to always be true to our genuine selves, not desiring to be like others. We were not born to fit in, but to stand out. We are made with a purpose that only we can fulfill. Father, help us to see our place in society. Show us our most effective roles to express the talents you’ve given us. Equip us to fulfill our calling. In Jesus name, Amen!



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  1. I can so relate to the bossy as a child. Now, I always think of myself too as a bit fiesty. Enjoyed your description here and your choice of words to describe. So happy you linked this today for others to read on Tuesday Talk linkup.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Michelle! Us feisty chicks have to stick together! =)

  2. I absolutely loved the insight you shared here! Thank you for sharing how the Lord spoke to your heart – “made with intent”. That is so powerful and indeed so true!

    I leave your blog today truly edified. 🙂

    1. Thanks Karen! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I look forward to reading yours as well!

  3. Alisa, I love the flow of your writing…AND the message you are conveying! There were no mistakes when God created us! He had specific ways He can use the things that make us who we are. Thank you for sharing your honest, raw struggles with us today. I loved reading this! And I love that you saw War Room!! Doesn’t it just change how you think? Love it!

    1. Thanks Terah! These are seriously my struggles. It’s hard to be strong willed and try to stay submissive. Only Jesus can make that happen! I LOVED War Room. I cried throughout the entire movie, but it was a good cry. God is so faithful to provide exactly what we need! BTW… I love reading your blog! You are a fantastic writer!

  4. Love this so much!! God gave me a rebellious spirit – a spirit that has admittedly caused me some grief. But, it wasn’t a mistake that God made me this way. When I got my heart right with Him, I realized that the rebel in me was made to oppose the enemy. This rebel spirit has been a gift. It has helped me be strong and helped identify my true battle. Thank you so much for the reminder that we are made with INTENT! Blessings ~ Lisa (your Testimony Tuesday neighbor at #90)

    1. Lisa, this is great! Don’t you love how God uses the things that seem like weaknesses and turns them into strengths? What a mighty God we serve! Thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t wait to read your blog!

  5. Alisa,
    I know that feeling. “…the resentment toward my personality remained.”
    That hits me right in the heart. I needed this comraderie today. Thank you.
    Happy Wednesday,

    1. I know Meg! I had no idea this many people struggled with this! I’m so glad you stopped by today! Have a great week.

  6. Our footsteps are similar, Alisa. Earlier this morning I wrote about the strong-willed. Like you, I understand it intimately. Your post hit the sweet spot, encouraging “strong-willeds” like myself to focus not on self, but on God. When we look with eyes searching for understanding, ears ready to hear His will, being “us” suddenly takes on a new appearance. I loved hearing what the Lord spoke to you: “This is why I’ve created you strong. Not so that you can fight people in the flesh, but so you can war against the enemy in the spirit.” Mmmm-mmmm. Good stuff. Oh, and by the way, we’re neighboring today at #coffeeforyourheart.

    1. I’m so glad we get to be neighbors so often Kristi! =) This has been such a struggle for me for years. Finding that balance seems almost impossible, and it is, apart from God. But with Him, it becomes this beautiful masterpiece that we never even knew we possessed. I love how God turns these things around! I love how Paul says it in 1 Corinthians 1:27, “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.” He seems to love to use what the world sees as weak and turn it into a strength! I’m so glad you stopped by!

  7. It is so wonderful when God reveals one of His intentions for us. When I was younger I really wondered if I had ANY spiritual gifts at all. I even took one of those huge tests, only to discover at the end that I had no definitive gift. Now, I know that is not reality, but it certainly didn’t help my feelings. 😉 Then comes that day when you do something you’ve never done before, and you LOVE it. And then others confirm that in different ways. And then you take stock and see just what He used in you to make something happen, and well, it just feels “right.” (I know that was a really rambling comment! Haha!) What I mean is, your post is right on! He has an “intent” for all of us, and what a blessing when He reveals it!

    1. Wendy, isn’t that just like the enemy to try and convince us we are untalented and lacking in some area? I love that God shows up and makes our talents recognizable to others, who then confirm it in us! God is good. Thanks for stopping by!

  8. “I was made with intent. He did create me feisty, but for a reason. Not so I could fight in the flesh, but in the spirit, through prayer and declarations.”
    I really like this part the best because I can relate. I am a very passionate, opinionated, and emotional person. I sometimes get grumpy because I wish I wasn’t so emotional. But then it always makes me of Peter. He had a strong personality and God used him big. It is so hard to see something we see as a weakness as something God uses us for. thank you for this encouraging reminder. Visiting from the Woman to woman link up.

    1. Kristina, this is so good! It is definitely hard to see how God will use feisty in a good way. It has such a negative connotation in our society. But God in His goodness, uses these traits for His purposes. I love that He shows them as strengths! Thanks for visiting!

  9. Hi Alisa…just popping over from Grace at Home blog hop…your words are timely for me this morning. I am really struggling with what is next for me and using what God has intended me for. New phase in my marriage, empty nest….. 🙂 I am a strong willed spirit as well, and have lots going on in my head for a small business venture and I don’t want to do this because it is just something I want. Your post reminds me that my hubby and I need to commit this to the Lord and be obedient to what He tells us. Thanks for sharing today. Have a great day!

    1. Wow! Empty nester… that is definitely a transitional period! It’s true, us feisty strong willed people like to do and accomplish, don’t we? Praying for God’s direction for you and that He would make it abundantly clear what He wants for you in this new season! Thanks for stopping in!

  10. Grateful for the blessing of your words this morning, which have confirmed again what I was sharing with my 14 year old daughter, Megan, this morning. She was sharing with me about how she felt like a failure because she didn’t have certain personality traits and talents that her friends all seemed to share. But God created Megan to be Megan; He does not want her to be exactly like her friends. We are all made with intent, and when we focus on using our giftings for God’s purposes, then we bring Him glory.

    1. Paige, this is such a good lesson for teenagers. I wish someone would have told me this 25 years ago! It would have saved a lot of heartache and stress. What a great mom you are, sitting with her and processing this! You are guiding the way to her destiny. Way to go Momma!!

  11. Such a blessed message. I know I struggle with “good enough” feelings daily. It is a great reminder God made me with a specific purpose in mind. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Hello neighbor! I loved this post! I loved how God met you at the movie and impressed on you that He made you with intent! Sad to say, I still at times find myself comparing with others. That’s when I remind myself to focus on Jesus and His will for my life.

    1. I was just thinking about you this morning Ellen! I’m so glad you stopped by! I think we all fall into the comparison trap at times! I definitely have to keep refocusing on Jesus, to be sure I’m following His will for my life and not His will for someone else’s life.

  13. Thank you for sharing this at #100HappyDays! I love how you encouraged us to embrace who God made us towards His good. I especially love the part about fighting in the spirit by being a mighty prayer warrior instead of fighting in the flesh. It reminded me of one of my favorite books that really helped me in my marriage, The Power of a Praying Wife.

    1. Thanks Valerie! I love that book as well. I’ve always loved to pray for people, but I never connected the dots. I love how God shows us His intentions for our lives. Thanks so much for stopping by today!

  14. Thanks for this Alisa. I have three daughters and two of them can be termed “Stong Willed” – though the third has a strong will of a hole other dimension! You’ve provided me with a lot of perspective to help me frame things as I seek to do my part in raising them in Christ. Blessings.

    1. Thanks Chad! I have some strong willed daughters too! I was just encouraging my oldest one to embrace her beautiful feisty self this week! Thanks for reading!

  15. This is lovely, Alisa. Love your epiphany. Once my dad was complaining to my uncle about, what he perceived to be, my strong-willed personality, and my uncle told him that that would serve me well when I got older. And, he was right. Peer pressure was never an issue for me. I knew what I felt was right, and I stuck to it. 🙂 He fashions us perfectly for the lives that He gives us. 🙂 ((blessings))

    1. Yes He does Brenda! I never thought being strong willed was an asset. I love how God has changed my perspective on this. I feel like He did this not just for me, but for my strong willed children as well. The last few weeks I have been able to guide them through some things differently because of this perspective. Thanks for visiting! =)

  16. Alisa, this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing this with us at 100 Happy Days! I’m the strong willed “bossy” type too. I love your thoughts about being made with intent. God didn’t make a mistake, but rather has set us aside for some great purposes. Let’s be strong willed in the name of Jesus! 🙂

    1. Thanks Alison! I’m so glad I found your linkup! I love that we can be different, but all the same in Christ. God uses each of us for His glory. Even us feisty girls =) Thanks for visiting!

  17. Loved this post Alisa. I used to be timid, and would use the excuse it was the way God made me. That was until I read the scripture that says God didn’t give us a spirit of timidity. There went that excuse lol! He has me speaking at events, and leading woman’s ministry. That is totally all Him. I loved the War Room. I’m glad you’re a feisty sister. We girls need to be prayer warriors, who are not afraid to go into battle for truth. Thanks for sharing your experience and your heart.

    1. Thanks Doris! I love that God has used that in your life! I love to see people walking out the fullness of what God has for them. We tend to limit ourselves what we see to be weaknesses, but God says, “Watch what I do!” Thanks for visiting today!

  18. I remember how brokenhearted I was when I lost my job working for my pastor at my church. I held that job for over 10 years. I didn’t quite understand what God was doing. I thought He intentionally made me to be there — to serve the church staff and body. I am slowing embracing the other gifts and abilities He’s given me, to encourage the body of Christ through my art and through writing is one of those. Blessings!

  19. Thank you for the truth and beauty in your words today. The verse you chose from Ephesians has always spoken to me of God’s immense love for me. The fact that He chose me as His masterpiece brings me to my knees every time I read it. Thank you for praying for us and sharing your heart so openly.

    1. Thank you Mary! I love that verse. It is such a beautiful picture confirming His perfect design for each of us. Thank you for visiting today!

  20. Yes! We are fearfully and wonderfully made and God has very good intentions for how He uniquely wired each of us. Such good insight here — thank you for this message, Alisa!

  21. Your words here are very wise. I’ve come to see that every personality type has inherent strengths and weaknesses. When I envy someone else’s personality, it’s because I’m only seeing the positives of that personality, giving no thought to the negatives that accompany it. When I look at my own personality, it’s much easier to focus on the negative aspects rather than the positive. Thank you for encouraging us to trust in God’s sovereignty and His plan in the way He created us, and for sharing your wisdom with us at Grace & Truth!

    1. That is very true Jennifer! I tend to envy others based on their strengths, but judge myself on my weaknesses. I’m grateful that God continues to reveal His goodness in me. Thank you so much for visiting today!

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