Do you want to love your man the way he wants to be loved? The relationship with your husband is one of the most important ones. Yet sometimes we don't know how to love them well. In this article you'll find 5 exciting ways to show your man love. #marriage #relationships #loveyourhusband #loveyourman

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Do you want to love your man the way he wants to be loved? The relationship with your husband is one of the most important ones. Yet sometimes we don't know how to love them well. In this article you'll find 5 exciting ways to show your man love. #marriage #relationships #loveyourhusband #loveyourman

Do you ever think about how to intentionally love your man?

This month I celebrated 22 years of marriage.

My husband reminded me that we have been together, longer than we have been apart.

What an accomplishment!

I say that with all humility.

Selflessness, forgiveness and most importantly, surrender to God, are crucial ingredients for a solid marriage.

And those things aren’t always easy!

[bctt tweet=”Marriage is hard work and takes intentionality to make it work. Ready to get intentional with loving your man? #loveyourman #intentionality #strongmarriage” username=”Alisa_Nicaud”]

How can we be intentional in our marriage?

One way is to learn how to love your man the way he wants to be loved and do those things on purpose.

Yes, I said on purpose.

Why?

Because we can have great intentions of doing something, but unless we have a plan, those intentions will never become a reality.

We’ve all heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life”. But the truth is, a happy hubby makes a happy home as well.

As wives, it is in the best interest of our marriage to meet our husband’s needs.

Now I’m not saying that their sole source of happiness should come from us, that isn’t realistic or biblical.

But as I read this passage this morning, I gained a greater understanding of what it means to love my man.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 NIV

I can’t think of a closer neighbor than my spouse.

And I can’t think of a better way of loving him than to serve his needs.

Not because I have to, but because I love him and want to make him happy.

I can do this by being intentional about what’s important to him.

Do you want to love your man the way he wants to be loved? The relationship with your husband is one of the most important ones. Yet sometimes we don't know how to love them well. In this article you'll find 5 exciting ways to show your man love. #marriage #relationships #loveyourhusband #loveyourman

5 Ways to Love your Man Right

Here are 5 things you can do to love your man in a way he will appreciate:

Initiate sex

This is a biggie. Just like I need quality time to feel loved by my hubby, he needs sex to feel loved by me.

It only took me 20 years of marriage to figure this out!

Sex is to men, as talk is to women.

But it’s not just the act of sex that is meaningful to a husband, but the act of being pursued by his wife.

He wants to know that she still finds him attractive and is interested in him in that way.

One of the best ways I can love my man is by buying a little lingerie and initiating sex.

This lets him know that I’ve been thinking about him throughout the day and that I’m making him a priority.

Be that soft place to fall

One of the things I constantly hear my husband say is that he needs a soft place to come home to.

The world is a tough place and our men are out there getting bombarded by stressful situations all day long.

Not to mention the visual stimulation they experience.

There is a constant war for their attention and what they want when they get home is a soft place to relax.

Now I have to admit, that this is not my strong suit.

Nor have I arrived in this area.

But it is something I’m working on.

Being with kids all day can make it really difficult to be loving and compassionate when my husband arrives home.

I’m learning that he loves it when I shield him from the kids when he gets home and greet him with a kiss.

He wants to be welcomed by me and have a little down time before jumping into daddy role.

What does your husband like? Have you asked him lately?

If this is an area you need to grow in, perhaps a welcome home kiss is a great place to start!

Arrange a date night

Alone time is crucial for a good marriage, especially if you have small children.

We all need a break away from the kids.

The older my kids are getting, I’m realizing how important this is.

When they leave, I will be left with an empty home and an empty marriage if I don’t get intentional about spending time with my husband.

I want us to be more in love and excited to spend time together when our kids leave our house.

That takes investment.

We’ve incorporated date night.

Date night for us looks different every week.

We may go to dinner, watch a movie, or sit on a swing at the lakefront.

Regardless of what we do, making date night a priority is the most important thing.

Add some adventure to your life

For some of you this may be very easy.

For me, not so much!

I’m a cautious person by nature and I don’t love wild, adventurous things.

However, my husband is very adventurous.

Nothing would make him happier than me planning a little fun outing for us to experience together.

Have I done this yet?

No. I’m preaching to the choir here.

This is something I desperately need to do.

But I am on my way to doing this.

My husband and I have been talking lately about how we can have fun together now that the kids are older.

Although our ideas of “fun” are different, we can find a middle ground.

There are times of give and take in marriage. This is definitely a take for me.

I’m having to think outside my little box of fun and explore the ideas that seem crazy and a little scary, because it’s important to my hubby.

Support him as head of the house

God ordained the husbands as the head of the household.

That can be a hard thing for some of us.

Because I spend all day managing the household, I sometimes struggle with letting go of the reigns when my hubby gets home.

Yet, that doesn’t change the truth of God’s Word.

“Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NLT (emphasis mine)

Although I know I have victory in Christ, my flesh still tries to rise up in this area at times.

But I also know that nothing brings my husband greater honor as when I support him as the head of the house.

God made it that way.

What I have found interesting is that when I back him up in front of the kids, they gain more respect for him and me.

It provides order. The right order.

Do you know what how to love your man the way he wants to be loved?

If not, I challenge you to find out today and be intentional about loving him in a way that makes him happy. When we get intentional in this area, we will begin to see changes in them and in our relationship.

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36 Comments

  1. This was so perfect and just what I needed! I remember the season when I realized that my life is so much easier when I let my husband lead! Now, this is a daily process some times, but it is what is best.
    I really thank you for the first one, about initiating sex. This is a huge area where I struggle. I think I have a huge fear of rejection! My hubby has told me multiple times that this is something that he would like. I just tell him that is not my personality, that I do not want to bother him if he is tired. I have know that this is something that he needs. Thank you for the push!
    Blessings,
    Amy

    1. Amy, I can so relate! I have given every excuse in the book why I couldn’t initiate until I finally realized what I was doing to my husband. I was denying him love in the way that he needed it. It’s definitely a battle of the flesh for me in this area. But when I think about how happy it makes him, I know it will be worth it!

  2. Tip #1 is a game changer, it will open up doors of communication no other avenue will open!! Thanks for the reminder on making him the head of the household. After “controlling” children all day, it is absolutely hard to release those reigns to our hubbies! It must be a continuous decision to surrender!

    1. You are right about that!! It’s so important, and I think sometimes as women we discount the actual physical needs of our men. And as for handing over the reigns, it’s a daily surrender for sure!

  3. Thanks for your helpful post! It’s really encouraging to see that these five things are actually ones that I’m already working on, although I’m not nearly perfect at it. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what makes my husband happy, or what his love language is, or how I can show my love to him, but reading this list reminds me that I don’t have to be a mind reader to know what will make him happy and that these simple things make a huge difference already. Thank you again, and bless you as you work on these things too!

    1. That’s great that you have a head start on these, Jessica! Sometimes I try to love my husband the way I want to be loved and then I remember….he is nothing like me!

  4. Soooooo beautiful! So sweet n’ simple but powerful and truthful! Thanks for the wise encouragement, sister!

    1. Thanks, Jeanine! Sometimes we have to go back to the basics! =) Have a blessed day!

  5. I love this post! Great tips here, Alisa – thank you so much!
    We’ve talked about checking out some different cooking classes that the local townships offer. There are also various “food tasting tours” throughout our city and we’ve talked about going to one of them, but we’ve never made it happen. Maybe it’s time!
    Thanks for sharing these ideas – and happy anniversary!

    1. What a great idea!! We did ballroom dancing awhile back and it was a lot of fun!! My husband loves to cooks so this may be a good idea for us too! I may just have to surprise him!

  6. Great tips here Alisa than can easily be worked on. I know my husband wants to feel valuable and cared for as much as the kids do. Sometimes in our roles as mothers, we end up neglecting our husbands by diminishing our roles as wives. You’ve provided practical, insightful ideas that I’m happy to share:)

    1. Thanks, Gretchen! These are things my husband has communicated to me over the years. You are right…it’s easy to put our role as mom over our role as wife! This is something I’ll be working on for awhile! Thanks for sharing and have a great weekend!

  7. Alisa – You gave great tips. It is by no accident we were neighbors today on the link-up. I needed to hear it is about being intentional. We need to be intentional even when we have no desire. It is God’s plan. Maree

    1. Yes, I agree Maree! Many times when we do things that we know are right even when we don’t feel like it, we end up enjoying the thing we didn’t feel like doing! There is definitely a war for our marriages and pushing past our feelings is key to keep our relationship thriving!

  8. Alisa- great tips! I agree with you, we can’t neglect our husbands. It’s intentional and daily effort!
    #TestimonyTuesday

  9. Very practical stuff here. Good reminders that instead of looking only about what “I” need. We need to cultivate a heart that gives. Thanks!

    1. It’s so easy for me look inward, Karen! That’s probably one of my biggest struggles. But I’m learning that when I pour out what my husband needs, God always provides what I need!

  10. Hi Alisa! This is really good advice and totally doable. It’s all about serving each other in love ’cause doing these things would naturally elicit a reciprocal response. Thanks for sharing. (Sitting Among Friends)

    1. You are right, Edith! Sometimes we have to be the initiator in things. That used to bug me, but then I realized I was getting the results I wanted so it’s totally worth it!

  11. Love this fantastic reminder to serve my husband and show love for him intentionally, and to follow through! That’s the toughest part, of course. 🙂

    1. Yes it is, Laura!! We can know the right things to do, but unless we actually put actions to those thoughts, we aren’t communicating love!

  12. Congratulations once again, Alisa. Twenty years is definitely worth shouting about since not many make it that long in today’s world. I’m thankful that you shared your experience here with us to help us learn from you (and God’s Word). Id’ really like to get back to having date nights so this was just the reminder I needed.
    Hugs and blessings!

    1. Thanks, Marva! Date nights are so important for us, especially with all the kids we have! =) It’s the few times we have uninterrupted conversations!!

  13. Date night is so crucial. Now that our kids are older and self-sufficient, date night looks like sitting on the patio with a fire in the fire pit talking about our weeks with a glass of wine. No where I’d rather be!

    1. We are not quite there yet, but getting closer! Our kids range from 7-19. But I’m not complaining bc we are still having a date night, even if it can’t be at home!

  14. I needed to read this. I have been slacking on a couple of your points. I was going to type more, but I just found out my 4yo deleted some apps off my husband’s iPad. Yikes!

    1. Oh my goodness!!! I know what you mean, Kelly! My kids can do things on phones and iPads and I’m like “How do you know how to do that???” Always better to be safe than sorry!

  15. This is a great post and one I definitely needed to read! Thank you for your simple suggestions that can make a big impact on our husbands.

  16. Alisa, I agree 100% percent! Sometimes I need to be reminded though and see the areas that I have slacked on. Boy. loving sure is ON PURPOSE that’s for sure. But Happy Husband Happy Life is also true as you say. I can’t wait to read more.

  17. Congratulations on 20 years! What an accomplishment! Your post is filled with wisdom and so very transparent! Thank you so much for such a beautiful reminder to us all!

  18. Definitely needed this today! What an amazing post! Thank you!

  19. I love your tips, Alisa! Especially the tip to be the soft place for him. That’s a great way to put it, and I never thought about it exactly like that, but my husband expresses a lot of appreciation to coming home to a safe place where he can decompress and vent if needed.

  20. Alisa, I had to smile at your first point….”it only took me 20 years to figure this out.” We’ve all been there! Or, I should say many of us.

    I loved this very open and transparent post. Great points!

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