We all will experience rejection at some point, but we don't have to let it define us. Discover how you can find freedom in overcoming fear of rejection.

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The second my eyes saw him I darted the other direction.

It didn’t matter that I was his teenage child and he was my father; coming face-to-face with him unleashed a monster of fear I couldn’t suppress.

I ran to the one place I was sure he wouldn’t go…the women’s clothes. Hiding behind a rack filled with the latest fashions, my heart pounded and my mind raced.

Why had he not wanted me?

Why did I have to go through this?

What if I pushed my cart back into the aisle and made eye-contact… would he smile?

I continued to hide knowing he was sharing an experience with his other children that I would never have…picking out school supplies.  It may have seemed insignificant to anyone else, but to me it was one more moment I missed out on. With my knees shaking, I concluded there was no way I could go back into the same aisle as him. In fact, I couldn’t continue shopping at all.

I left the store with a black cloud over my head and a heaviness in my heart.

I had come to expect the feelings of loss. Each time I witnessed a friend engage in a tender moment with her father, I felt a slight tinge of emptiness looming in me. But this time was different. I wasn’t just watching someone else’s father. It was my own father  with his sons—the children he chose, while I remained the daughter he had rejected.

My father’s decision was set in stone before I took my first breath. It was solidified with four small dashes stretching across a blank line that could have bore his name on my certificate of birth. Gazing upon those dashes I wonder what it would have been like to be loved by a daddy. To crawl upon his lap, wrap my arms around his neck, and say, “I love you.”

 

We all will experience rejection at some point, but we don't have to let it define us. Discover how you can find freedom in overcoming fear of rejection.

 

Rejection.

It has the potential to corrode the life of any person—regardless of age, race, gender, social, or spiritual status. The spirit of rejection seeks to attach to the core of a person, producing insecurity, fear, doubt and anguish.

Overcoming Fear of Rejection

As a young girl I never tried to understand my father’s rejection, I just felt it.  It wasn’t until college that I began realizing his absence was having a profound effect on the way I viewed God. I began crying out to God for His help. I discovered Psalm 68:5, (God is a) “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows–this is God, whose dwelling is holy.”

This verse led me to pursue God even harder.

My questions became less about what was and more about what could be.

What if God could fill the gaping holes in my heart created by my father’s rejection?

What if His redemption included not just my future, but also my past?

In my daily quiet times God began revealing deeper insight into the events of my life.

Yes, my father had rejected me; but that fact didn’t have to define me.

Through his actions, the enemy tried to convince me that I wasn’t worthy to be loved or accepted. He had a ruthless plan to steal, kill and destroy my identity as a child of God. But God had a better plan. His plan was to accept me into His family as his own. Continuing to view God through the lens of my father’s rejection would most likely have kept me on a path of defeat. I had to choose to see life through the truth of God’s Word. That choice has given me joy, peace, and ultimately healing.

I’d be amiss if I led you to believe growing closer to God made me immune to rejection.

 We are all susceptible to rejection.

[bctt tweet=”When someone rejects us, it says more about who they are than who we are.” username=”Alisa_Nicaud”]

But I can tell you this: God will never reject you. He promises in His word to never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

My precious friend, whether you’ve experienced rejection on the elementary school playground or in relationship you treasured dearly, the Lord wants to heal that tender place in your heart. He will use every hurt for your good and His glory.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.  Genesis 50:20 (emphasis mine).

God wants to restore all the broken places in our lives; including the years of rejection. Restoration begins when we seek the truth about who God says we are in His Word, and it continues as we commune with him daily through prayer.

Rejection may mark the beginning of your story, but it doesn’t have to define the end. You can find freedom from rejection. I encourage you to draw closer to God today and let His truth mold you into the mighty warrior He designed you to be!

Leigh EllenAbout the author:

Leigh Ellen Eades is a writer on a mission to tell Jesus’ story. She’s passionate about her family, treasures coffee with friends and relishes quiet moments reading a book.

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17 Comments

  1. Leigh Ellen, I’m thankful for your vulnerablility and hope-filled story! Beauty from ashes…only God can work this awexome miracle in our hearts! It is easy to believe God can never restore all that has been lost or taken from us, and clinging to the promise of Joel 2:25 that God will restore all the years the locust has eaten! Your testimony is one more evidence of His great love and compassion:)

    1. Thank you, Crystal! Your words (and especially that scripture) are like fresh rain on the soil of my heart! May the Lord bless you, indeed. Thank you for reading today!

  2. Leigh, thank you for sharing the tender places God has healed, to lead the rest of us into freedom. I’m part of the Overcoming Series as well and it’s so nice to “meet” you.xx

    1. Niki, your words are the prayer of my heart – that many will be led to Jesus and receive His healing. Thank you for reading today! Sweetest blessings to you!

  3. My heart ached as I read your words. I too have felt rejection. Your heart spilling out across the page is a testament to the restoring power of our Daddy God. All glory to the Lifter of our heads!

    1. Thank you, Carmen. He is, indeed, the Lifter of my head! Blessings to you.

  4. Leigh Ellen, thanks for sharing your story and reminding us that rejection doesn’t define us. We are loved by our all-seeing, all-knowing, loving and merciful God. I praise him for that. Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #TestimonyTuesday.

    1. Gayl, thank you for reading today. God is for us in more ways than we could ever possibly comprehend. I am forever grateful to Him for this story and the work HE has done in my life. – My hope is that others will experience His love and healing as well. Blessings to you.

  5. oh my precious daughter you are a child of the king. thanx for sharing your heart. many souls will be lifted up by your words. from mama Crow

    1. I love you, Mama Crow. I am so blessed God chose you to be my mother-in-love! Thank you for always being there to cheer me on and remind me of God’s great grace in my life!

  6. Oh, how I relate to your story! My birth father lives a few towns away and hasn’t talked to me in 12 years. I’m always afraid of how I will react if I run into him somewhere. I finally realized the only part that is in my control is forgiveness.
    And the thing about that…it’s not a one a done deal. Nope. It’s over and over and over. Until it doesn’t hurt and then when the hurt creeps in, forgive again and again. I even made a decision years ago to say, “I forgive him” 490 times a day until my heart matched up with my words.
    Big blessing to you and your heart today in sharing your story!

  7. Laurie Vignes says:

    Your story makes me sad and happy all at the same time! Thanks for bravely sharing it. I know it will bring hope to those who are experiencing this same rejection! I love that you embraced your Heavenly Father through this. You are his unforgettable daughter!

  8. Thank you for honoring us with this personal story that says so much about who God is in your life and how He has redeemed your situation. I love the question you asked: What if His redemption included not just my future, but also my past? Visiting from #sittingamongfriends today and feeling grateful for your authentic story of healing!

  9. Leigh Ellen, what tenderness of our Father I see in your words. You’re brave. You continued to trust Him and move forward, tossing spiritual dust in the face of rejection. Praise God! #GoJesus and be encouraged to keep running the race well.

  10. Leigh Ellen it’s hard to keep the tears from rolling. Bless your heart. What a testimony. Hope to meet you at She Speaks one day and I’m a member of Compel and really need to get involved more there.

  11. Oh, sweet Leigh! My heart simply ached as I thought of your sweet teenage self in that moment. My heart goes out to you. But I want you to know I am in awe of the way you grabbed onto the truth of God and let it fill every empty space in your heart. You are brave and courageous and I hope God places this post in the hands of many young women who have yet to embrace that truth! I am going to share this everywhere because it is a truth we all need to embrace as we each face rejection to differing degrees that has the power to destroy our hope.
    Alisa, your series is so so SO good!
    Much love,
    Lori

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