How to Cope with Your Children Growing Up

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Have you ever been in a season where you knew it was time to let go of something?

Maybe that something was certain foods or habits.

Perhaps it was something a little harder to let go of, like a relationship or a job.

I’ve experienced various seasons of having to let go of things: I’ve let go of homeschooling for a season, only to have God call me back to it. I’ve also had to let go of some tv shows, that had an unhealthy impact on me.

Up until now, the things I’ve been called to release have been hard, but not impossible. However, this new thing God’s calling me to let go of, well… it’s a little more personal and a lot more painful.

Here I sit, planning out the final semester for my son’s senior year.

I have such mixed emotions about all of this! I’m excited to see what God will do through this incredibly smart and handsome young man. But the mommy in me cries, “No! Why does he have to grow up?!?”

It’s not easy releasing your child, even an adult child, out into the world.

It seems like just yesterday I was praying over him in his crib, rocking him to sleep and kissing his booboos. In 4 short months, he will be an adult and a high school graduate.


Are you having a hard time with your children growing up? Here's a few tips on how you can not just cope, but be confident and equipped for the next season.

How to Cope with Your Children Growing Up

Parenting is not easy.

It’s starts off physically challenging and ends up emotionally challenging.

I began thinking of the challenges Mary, the mother of Jesus, faced.

I am in complete utter amazement how she stood and watched her son suffer. The one she birthed, bathed and would later bury.

Mine is just graduating and I can barely stand it!

Yet, I recognize something in Mary; something we all have to help us through these difficult times when we need to let our children grow up.

Confidence in God’s promises.

As I was praying, this scripture came to my mind:

Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. Psalm 128:3 NLT

As I meditated on this scripture, the sorrow subsided as I was reminded of God’s promises for my children. What I discovered about olive plants is that they are very tenacious trees, thriving in almost any condition and virtually impossible to kill. Even if it is cut down or burned, new shoots will continue to sprout up around it. The sprouts that grow up carry the same likeness as the more mature tree it sprouted from.

Are you having a hard time letting go of your kids? As they grow up we want to hold on tighter. Here are some tips for letting go when you want to hold on.

God was telling me that there is no reason to fear or worry for my son’s future.

I don’t have to just cope with letting him grow up, but i can actually be excited for this next season in his life.

Why? Here’s what He reminded me….

Although he had been burned and cut during some of his most precious years, he would thrive.

The enemy has no right to him and his spirit is impossible to kill. Jesus is in his heart and there He will remain.

When the temptation arises for me to worry, I will remember the declaration I have for each of my children:

No weapon formed against them shall prosper. Every tongue that rises up against them will be condemned. Their bodies line up with the Word of God! No sickness or disease can come upon them, for they are covered by the blood of Jesus. They are tenacious, thriving and will fully walk in their destinies. The Lord guides us in how to raise them up, each according to their own bents, so that they will not turn from it when they get older. They will fully serve the Lord Jesus in the way He has designed them. In Jesus name, Amen!

Perhaps you needed to hear this today.

Letting our children grow up, although painful, can also lead to new opportunities.

[clickToTweet tweet=”When that thing that you hold onto, begins to hold you, it may be time to let go.” quote=”When that thing that you hold onto, begins to hold you, it may be time to let go.”]

Letting go, doesn’t always mean getting rid of something. Sometimes it means laying it down at the feet of Jesus, so He can pick it up.

Are you struggling with letting your children grow up?

Can I encourage you today? Lay them down at the feet of Jesus. Look to the One who can do all things; He’s familiar with laying things down, He gave His only Son. When we seek Him, we will find His help to let our children go and grow.






** I’ve included a bookmark of the prayer declaration above to place in your Bible. Any time you begin to feel overwhelmed by worry about your children, you can pull this out and confess it over them.**

Are you having a hard time with your children growing up? Here's a few tips on how you can not just cope, but be confident and equipped for the next season.

Share with your friends!


  1. Yes, I definitely needed to hear this. I have a son, but he is 10 years old and I’m starting to have anxiety about middle school which starts in August. 🙁 Thank you for the scriptures and uplifting encouragement. Be blessed.

    1. Carolina, I have a daughter who is turning 11 in 2 months. She is my first girl, so watching her grow up so fast makes me feel that way as well. I have 5, all spread apart, so at some point someone will be having a first! I definitely need these scriptures!

  2. Alisa,
    That declaration that you have for your children is inspiring, as are your words. Letting go is extremely hard for me!!! Thank you for this honest and truthful word.
    Happy Tuesday!!!

  3. Having been a teacher but never a parent only allows me to connect ever-so-slightly here, but I know God is holding your son near to His heart because your son holds Jesus in his. And I sense through your words that parenting is never easy, but can be such a love-filled relationship all the way along. I had my mother with me her last 15 years and I would not trade that time, although it was hard much of the time, for anything. She and I grew more through our parent-child relationship in whole new ways.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    1. That’s so true Linda. Parent child relationships are so unique and precious, such a beautiful picture of our relationship with God. Thanks for stopping by today!

      1. Laura Myers says:

        Thank you for scriptural encouragement! We just had the wedding of our oldest of four girls. The last has two years in homeschool high school. My focus on advice & problem solving must change to question asking & prayers. Also i try to cherish time with my Mom before dementia takes away all her memories. The Lord is faithful to enable us!

  4. Hello Alisa, I’m one of the co-hosts from Tuesday Talk link up. Just finished reading your post and everything you say brings so much back from when my girls were getting ready to leave the nest. This is so timely for my theme on “fear.” I’ll be featuring this post on next week’s Tuesday Talk so stop by to see what I say about this at Thanks for sharing with us this week.

    1. Thanks so much Michelle! It really is so difficult to let our kids grow up! Thank you for considering me for the feature post! Have a wonderful week.

  5. I have two in high school, and I feel the days of them being at home under my care and supervision quickly winding to an end. It is hard to let go and yet (if I am honest) there is much joy in seeing the fruit of my labor finally come into season. Thanks for the encouragement to let go and let God in this new season of motherhood.

    1. It’s so true Paige! There’s such a struggle in me between celebrating their victories and crying over the end of this season. I have 2 boys that are in high school, one in 9th and one in 12th. Having to let this first one go, is so hard! But God is good, and with His help, I will get through it and let it go!

  6. Oh girl Yes and Amen. Letting go is hard for us. My son is 19 and I just finished reading the Power of a Prayer Parent by Stormie Omartian an it helped immensely knowing that even if I was letting him go into the big world seemingly alone, I was still holding him together with Jesus in prayer and that makes all the difference. Blessings on you and your son! ♥ Visiting from Holley’s link up today!

  7. Reading your words today was such a comfort. My daughter is a high school junior right now and this letting go business is starting to feel more real all the time. I love the verse you quoted about the olive tree. Thank you for sharing this at Grace and Truth. I’m a new host there and I’ve chosen this post to be featured on my blog this Friday.

    1. Thank you so much Dawn! The olive tree was my favorite part as well. It was such a perfect picture of God’s promises to sustain our children, even when they grow up! Thank you so much for considering me for the featured post! I am truly humbled. Have a great week!

  8. Love the look of your blog, Alisa. Even more so? I love the declaration over your children. Yes, yes, and yes!

    1. Thanks Kristi! I just updated my website last week! declaring God’s word over my family has become a daily holy habit for me. Thank you so much for dropping by!

  9. Hi Alisa, we’re neighbours at Intentional Tuesday and I’m glad I found your blog and this post. I needed this reminder to enjoy the mothering season. My kids are just entering the pre-teen years and there are times its hard to see beyond the challenges of the moment. The key, as I’m learning, is to enjoy life in the moment and trust God for the rest. When I’m at that point of letting go I want to look back on the memories we built together with fondness, just as you’re doing now.

    1. Hey Marva! Thanks so much for stopping by! I totally agree with you, the key is enjoying the moments we have with them! I look forward to checking out your blog soon!

  10. This. Was. Wonderful! I’m a neighbor from #livefree Thursday and I’m so glad I stopped. Our oldest is a sophomore in college. He’s made some tuff choices that have resulted in life changing consequences. He’s home again…going to school and moving forward. Oh the prayers that have been prayed over that boy! I’ve claimed the blood of Jesus and MANY scriptures over him (as well as our other kiddos) but I’ve never claimed the one you shared in your post. That girlfriend is about to change. Blessed by your words today. Keep writing!

    1. Thanks so much Cindy! I’m so glad you stopped by! I can’t imagine how difficult it’s going to be to face the challenges of one in college!! I’m praying and declaring right now for God’s divine protection over my son as he goes out into the “real world”. I’m praying for your son today too! I know God has a great plan for these precious boys and by His grace they will fulfill it!! Have a great weekend!

  11. Hi there Alisa! I’m your neighbor at #LiveFree. What a good word! We need to let go of worry and declare God’s Word over our childre. Beautiful. I just sent one to college in August. 🙂

  12. Ah yes, I hear you! There’s something HUGE about your baby finishing high school and embarking on a real future, especially somewhere other than the nest you guard like a crazed eagle! But God is good. He gets you through it and shows you much about yourself in the process. I have to remind myself that my children are given to me as gifts for a season… (yeah, easier said than done!) Blessings to you as you step into this new stage of parenting 🙂 Stopping by from #3DLessonsForLife

    1. So very true Laura! We want to hold on forever, but God says let them go! =) Thank you for stopping by!

  13. Bless your heart. It’s hard. I remember those days so long ago. I remember my daughter pulling out to leave to go to a local college but she was living on Christmas. I bawled. Life is beautiful though. Let me tell you when both kids left it was like my hubby and I were newly married again, and it still is after all these years. It will be ok, and it will be AWESOME!

    1. Thanks Debbie! I do look forward to being able to travel with my husband! I think because he’s the first, it makes it that much harder. I’m sure it will be the same for my last. But God is good and He will sustain me! Thanks for reading!

  14. Oh, Alisa, I’m right there with ya. ((hug)) We homeschool as well, and my middle son is graduating this year. Where does the time go? This is what we work for though…to prepare them to let go. It’s hard on a mama’s heart, isn’t it? But, we sure are blessed. How exciting it will be to see the adults they become. Hang in there mama. ((blessings))

    1. So true Brenda! It flies by and it’s hard to let go. But I am excited to see the amazing things God will do in this next chapter of His life.

  15. Letting go and trusting God with our children is on my heart and my blog these days. What a beautiful, encouraging post for this challenging task of parenting. Linking with you at Grace and Truth:)

    1. Thank you Ginger! Thanks for stopping by! I look forward to checking out your blog!

  16. As a homeschool mom myself I so relate to your article. I have one in high school now and one who graduated last year and is now away (a few states away) at school. I’m so proud of him and all that God has for him. Loved the article.

    1. Thanks Sheryl! Mine told me he wanted to go to school in Va, I’m like, “That’s 2 flights away!” LOL. It really is a hard thing, this letting go business. Somedays I’m good and others I just want to cry. Either way, God is with us mommas, covering these precious sons/daughters as they journey into the next chapters of life! Thanks for stopping by!

  17. Lori Jude says:

    What a wonderful piece Alisa and one I needed to read. Especially the part where you are reminiscent of your zombie days haha. Today I had a “zombie” day. Infact if I’m honest I’ve had about 4 in a row now! Cherishing their “littleness” has been such a challenge lately for so many reasons but God is heaping loads of grace over my head day after day and allowing me to savor the sweet moments knowing they will be gone before I know it! Thank you for sharing your heart! So encouraging!

    1. Oh Lori, do I understand that! Because there are 12 years between my oldest and youngest (and then 2 yrs in between the rest!), I feel like I experienced a decade of the littles! At the time it was crazy and hard to navigate through, but looking back I am able to see how valuable those years were and how quickly they go by! Praying for you as you journey through these precious years with yours!

  18. I can relate. My daughter just passed her state boards – she is an RN! And while I couldn’t be more proud of her, I know it won’t be long before she moves out and begins her life as an independent young woman. Yes, it’s hard to let go of this season of parenting. So, thank you for the encouraging verses. Joining you from #livefreeThursday and I’m your Compel sister! PS: I have a “Luke” who is also smart and handsome…must be a good name!!

    1. Yes indeed Pam, it is very hard to let them go! That is really exciting that she passed her state boards, though! I look forward to see how God will use Luke, but I also want him to stay close. I’m letting that go. =) If God moves him far away, He will take better care of him there, than I can here. And yes, Luke is a wonderful, strong name! Thanks for stopping by; have a great weekend!

  19. This transition stage has been the hardest for me — harder than the sleep deprived baby days, harder than the hair raising toddler energy days, harder than the meet-yourself-in -the-doorway busy school days. It’s letting go, and it’s also receiving a brand new way of relating to my kids, and I’m thankful that it’s happening with my two oldest, but it’s changing the way I’m parenting the two youngest. At some point, relationship takes precedence over care. Caring for my boys was always easy. I love them and want to DO for them. I also need to love them enough to talk and listen and relate. I think this is a challenge!

    1. So true Michele! I always say parenting is physically challenging in the younger years, but emotionally challenging in the later years. You’re right, getting in their world is crucial if we want to have a lasting relationship with them as they get older. Thanks for stopping by!

  20. Hi Alisa! The letting go is hard. And it presents it self in so many forms with parenting. So far, it’s been letting an adult child be an adult, giving him room to fall on his face if that’s what it takes, and it’s also been letting a teen child travel between boroughs in New York City to attend the high school of his choosing. I know I have many more such experiences to go. Sigh. This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart. Thanks for linking up today at #GivemeGrace !

    1. Lisha, it is so difficult to give them all that space! We naturally want to protect them and pull them closer! I’m so glad you stopped by today! I look forward to linking up with you again! Have a great week!

  21. My oldest son is a junior and I wonder where the time has went. He was just a little boy following me around the yard asking if he could help….now he is a strong young man who is saved and ready to start on his life adventure.
    At this time in my life I understand what my mother meant when she said “children will make you love them with all of your heart, then as they get older it starts to break”. Even though I look forward to the person he is becoming I still miss my little guy following behind me.

    1. Oh Michelle, I understand. I have one almost 18 and one almost 16. The thought of them growing up is so hard! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s nice to know I’m not the only momma not wanting to let go!

  22. My son will be starting his Junior year in the fall and daughter her freshman year (in HS). I know this time will just fly so I am savoring every moment, even the hard ones. We invest so much energy and all our hearts preparing them to fly and when it comes time for them to do so it is bittersweet. Praying that God will sustain, redeem and empower all our “babies” as they venture out on their own. Thank you for sharing your story! Visiting from Sharing His Beauty today 🙂

  23. Oh, Alisa. This mom business requires strength only God Almighty can give. Thank you for your sweet perspective. I homeschool my last two kids right now, ages 12 and 9. But I’ve graduated three others besides. (It can physically hurt when they leave). But God is ultimately in control. He loves them as much as He loves us.
    I will pray for a smooth transition for you. Sending you my love.

    1. Thanks, Gleniece! It’s definitely not easy!! Letting go is even harder. Thank you for your prayers.

  24. Oh, Alisa! I love this declaration! I am printing it! BTW – It would make a beautiful printable image for pinterest! 😉 Letting go at each stage is so tough. You give so much hope to the struggling Mama, though! Thank you so much, friend, for coming alongside me and sharing this hope at Moments of Hope! I’m so thankful for you!

    1. Thanks, Lori! What a great idea, I’ll create one! Thanks for the tip. =) You’re so right, letting go is hard at any age! Thanks for providing community every week at Moments of Hope. I look forward to linking up each week.

  25. I needed this today. My boys r 20 and 17, its tougher to let them go then I ever would have thought. As a former stay at home mom, I feel as though they were my whole life , and now I’m just a small part of theirs. Thank you. I feel as though God les me to your post today.

  26. Alisa- I needed to read this today! Thank you so much!

  27. Yes, oh yes! I have 5 and my 4th graduated high school in May! His seemed the HARDEST so far but when my baby girl does, oh me!! (I’ll need an entire box of tissues) He just started an “adult” job last week which can lead to an internship and I’m just blown away that He’s moving in to that area which will likely have him getting his own place this next year….that will be HARD!! You are absolutely right though….we MUST lay them at the feet of Jesus and my prayers for my kids are where I contend for them in the best way I know how!!

  28. Vincent Gratch says:

    Hi Alisa. I am Christian. Your article is makes perfect sense, however, I’m struggling immensely from the profound loss of my son leaving for college yesterday. He’s a devout Christian and is clean and pure in every way. He’s an incredible young man. Aside from my mother that had 11 children, Matthew is the most selfless person I’ll ever know. I struggle with big changes, often slipping into depression. I’m seeking counseling help, preferably a Christian counselor, but haven’t found one yet. I know my struggles with change are making this separation worse; I just cannot cope.

    I’m lonely, scared, I cannot eat and I don’t sleep well. I am trying to turn this over to our Lord, I’ve have done that in the past. This seems different. My prayers and intentions are constant but I see nothing improving. My son is my best friend and while well see him every 4 weeks or so, I cannot seem to get past one hour without breaking down. I’m in despair. Matthew is doing well, as I knew he would and want him too. To be clear, I would not have wanted him hear post high school graduation; for him, going off to college was the right decision. But now I’m unable to move on from a lonely heart. His twin leaves next week and this pain will double. I have two more children one college sophomore at home and one 8th grader. I’m not alone, and I am married, but my wife and I are not as close as we’d like to be and she’s wired differently than I am. She can move on from something like this while I can’t.

    I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to write all this, I’m just so low that I can hardly function. Do you have any small simple tips for me? I know our Lorf has me where he wants me, and has his hand over Matthew, but what can I do? I’m just so broken.

  29. Only coming across this post now, 2023. Looking at the date of the article, 2018, I wondered how your story has unfolded?
    I have a 16 yr old and although still at school, I know that university is only two years away.
    Sometimes I give into the sadness (privately), however, today I read your post and it filled me with hope, a hope for my sons future and the man he will become.
    Well, just wanted to say five years later your article is still an encouragement.
    Be blessed

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