Is There Comfort In The Trenches of Grief?
Hey friend! I can’t wait for you to read this amazing post by my friend, Kristi Woods. She is one special lady! Kristi is caring, witty and a beautiful writer. Her poetic words paint a picture in your mind and draw you in bit by bit. You will be inspired and encouraged through her powerful message of overcoming.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Co. 1:3-4 ESV
She was a young thing, sitting on the curb all by herself. The little one couldn’t have been more than 7 or 8-years old.
Brown, unkept strings of hair hung long, her head poised low. I could scarcely make out the girl’s eyes, but they appeared to be watching something below.
She never looked up – not at me or anyone else.
She simply sat alone, grey hues of the city’s concrete scene surrounding her.
A small flow of water traveled, hugging the space between her heels and the curbside. It rushed toward the destination ahead – a dark, bottomless curbside drain.
But our girl continued to sit, downcast and alone. And oddly, although the flow skated by, her tennis shoes remained dry.
I later came to realize she was grieving – a profound sadness surrounding her due to the death of her father.
Let’s face it: death stinks. Thank God for heaven. We all need it because the clutch of death here on earth is far too heavy.
Thank You, Jesus.
Grief will toss a person into its trenches without permission.
It’ll cause us to sit alone, just like the little girl.
And although the little girl appeared to be alone, she wasn’t. I was that little girl – my 46-year-old self. The vision was one given to me as I grieved my father’s death one year ago. Our Almighty Father was alongside the whole time, watching as I stared downward and sat “alone”.
Perhaps you’re in the trenches of grief right now or know someone who is.
It’s an awful place to be, no doubt about it. We miss our loved one. We grieve the lost.
And that picture of a little girl running to her Father’s embrace is often the furthest thing from our mind. We’re not turning our back on God, we know and appreciate He’s “there” and continue to love Him dearly, but we can’t fathom His warm embrace. So we sit alone, quiet and downcast in a grey world.
But can I share with you that God is faithful? We may not “feel” Him, but He is there.
We may not look up, but He is looking down.
[bctt tweet=”Death might flow, but believers in Christ won’t set foot in its current.” username=”Alisa_Nicaud”]
I couldn’t look at a picture of my dad for the first two months after his death. It was hard to talk about him. I shooed thoughts away as quickly as they approached.
But in an instant nearly 2 months afer being thrown into the trenches, God extracted me from the profound sadness.
For real.
Instantaneous.
In my kitchen.
It happened.
It was special ops of God’s spiritual kind.
He turned my focus on loss into a view of thankfulness. He helped me overcome the profound loss.
Oh, I still grieve some. Grieving is normal. It takes time, and honestly I don’t know if there’s ever an end this side of heaven. But I’m no longer in the trenches of its profound sadness. Instead, I snuggle in the warm embrace of my Father.
It’ll be okay.
Looking at a picture of my dad and expressing thanks to God for him are now both possible. I see the lemonade side of life’s lemons and celebrate each of them – all thanks to the Holy Spirit and that overcoming moment in the kitchen.
So I’m not going to offer a “to do” list when dealing with grief.
No, finding comfort amid grief’s dark trenches is a one-on-One thing. Walking with Jesus is too.
But if you’re grieving, take your time and do what you need to do. Please just remember these truths:
God is faithful. (PS 89:1)
He loves you dearly. (John 3:16)
He’ll neither leave you nor forsake you. (Deut. 31:6)
And even if we don’t “feel” it, He truly is Comforter for all who call on Him. (2 Co. 1:3-4) It may be 2 months or 2 years, but He is Comforter.
As the 1-year anniversary of Dad’s passing approaches, I’ll not focus on death’s flow. After all, those tennis shoes never got wet.
I’ll look up, finding comfort in my faithful God, the very One who pulls us from the trenches of grief. I’ll celebrate my earthly father with thanksgiving and with my mouth make our heavenly Father’s faithfulness known.
Inspired by Kristi’s message? Here’s a short video she made just for you! She dives a little deeper into overcoming grief and the hope we have in the One who can deliver us.
About the Author
Kristi Woods is a writer and speaker passionate about seeing women walk deeper with God. She clicks her words of encouragement at KristiWoods.net regularly and is published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Dreams and Premonitions as well as on Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today and on various blogs. Kristi, her retired-from-the-military husband, and their three children survived a nomadic, military lifestyle and have now set roots in Oklahoma. Connect with Kristi here:
Beautiful testimony of God’s amazing grace! The best of the worst times when God shows up in the midst of our pain and sorrow! Thank you for sharing because when you are in this alone place it seems as if you will never feel alive again. It helps to see others have been where you are and overcame. I love that you didn’t attach a formula to overcoming grief because God does customize a special one for each one of us. I will pass this on to a dear family from my school who are experiencing the loss of their 20 year old son this weekend. God bless you!
Laurie, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss in your school. I’ve prayed for this precious family already – that they’ll find comfort amid the trench they suddenly found themselves in. Thank you for sharing and offering encouragement.
This is such a beautiful encouragement to those in the midst of grief. It really feels like the trenches, doesn’t it? But God is with us and He will bring us through. I recently posted on grief on my blog and it is a tough and difficult thing to explore. But I’m so encouraged by your words and I know that others will be as well. Thank you, Kristi!
I agree, Nicole! Beautiful post, Kristi!
God is certainly with us, whether our eyes are up or down. It sounds as though you understand. Thanks for your kind words, Nicole. To God be the glory….
God never leaves us! He is present in the middle of the most profound loss. Thank you of sharing this truth through your story. Visiting from #searchingformoments and feeling grateful for this beautiful reminder of our Father God’s comfort and healing.
Amen, Angela! He never leaves us.
Such wisdom here Kristi. There is no formula or steps to follow, just that time with God as he comforts and heals. Thank you for these words:)
Yes, He comforts and heals, Kristine. Thank goodness!
Beautiful picture you painted of loss Kristi. I lost my mom 10 years ago and there are still times where I am sad, but knowing she is dancing with Jesus gives my heart joy. 🙂
Nicki, I’m sorry about the earthly loss of your mom, but I’m thankful she’s dancing with Jesus. (((hugs)))
Thank you for this beautiful and honest post, Kristi. My husband lost his father when he was 12, and I’ve seen the grief in him many times even though that was years ago. And yet God is all comforting, loving and so gracious in the midst of loss. <3 What a wonderful God He is!
“And yet God is all comforing, loving and so gracious in the midst…” Oh yes, Lauren. I’m so thankful He’s always there because, like your husband, we often carry that loss for a long time – until heaven. Without our Father, we’d truly be at a loss.
Kristi, thsee are comforting words. How precious to know that God, who loves us, never leaves our side.
Yes, gratitude is a game-changer for me always, especially in hard times.
Gratitude is indeed a game-changer. Great term for it, Betsy.
Such a great post on dealing with grief, it can be such a lonely time. Sorry for your loss. Jen XOXO
Thank you for your kind words, Jen.
Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful words, Kristi! I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Reading your story reminded me so much of the pain of losing my dad. I remember being that little girl too. Oh, but my Heavenly Daddy–the God of ALL comfort scooped me up, and I have been in his arms ever since. Thank you again!
Christin, I love hearing that you’re in His arms. Thank you for your kind words, especially since you “know” grief.
I’m so glad you’re touching on this topic Kristi! You’ve spoken so beautifully into an uncomfortable and heavy place. Thank you for giving all of us permission to throw away the grieving to-do list! I work with so many clients who think they “should be” doing much “better” than they often are – believing that peace is something they can earn. Great, great piece:)
Meg, I’m truly touched by your words. Praise God ~ all the way.
These are great verses on processing grief, Kristi. One thing’s for sure, God’s Word is a healing balm. ❤
Amen! His Word is a healing balm, Lisa.
Hi, These are such beautiful words for walking through grief with Jesus. God confirmed His Word to me today, as He had me choose that same passage from 2 Corinthians! His comfort truly does overflow around us, as we let Him touch our hearts. I’m your neighbor over at #LiveFreeThursday, and so glad I stopped by. –Blessings to you!
Kristi, your words soothe and bring comfort. God is always near!
Thank you, Kristi, for sharing your heart and, Alisa, for sharing her words. Sweet blessings to you both. xoxo
Such a beautiful hope-filled post, Kristi. Thank you for sharing your story and pointing to Christ as our hope. Reminding us that He has not left us even when it may feel that way. Thanks so much for sharing this at #MomentsofHope! You are a blessing!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori