The woman I’m introducing you today is a picture of the word overcomer. She has fought long and hard for her marriage and her testimony is one we can all benefit from hearing. She is passionate about Jesus and her family. This is a girl after God’s own heart. Meet my friend, Becky.
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony….
These are powerful words that resonate so well with us – it’s a victorious verse if we look at just this one verse. I’d challenge you to read all of Revelation 11, though, because what is it that always leads to a victory?
A battle. A war.
And in order to overcome, you have to engage in the battle.
You can’t be an overcomer by turning away from the battle.
Just over three years ago, the battle came knocking on my door – literally. After realizing the war that would have to be waged, my immediate choice became whether to stay and fight, or run away.
While I can usually make well-thought decisions quite quickly, I determined not to do that in this situation. The life of my family was at stake. The decisions made by my husband were enough to let me consider divorce, or to fight for my family.
I took time to make the decision, to pray and listen to what God was saying.
It seems that the decision to stay, to support a person in the midst of an ugly addiction, wasn’t a popular choice. The majority of my support system walked out of my life.
So, how do you overcome in a marriage riddled with deceit and addiction,
leading to pain and intense shame?
How do you fight the battle that you never wanted?
Here are 3 ways to overcome in a troubled marriage:
In times of deep, unexpected trauma, we often find ourselves feeling numb. Those are times when the enemy can easily plant thoughts in our mind to distract us and increase the pain.
It’s important to be on our guard, even in the numbness, and to be filling our minds with God’s Word and with prayer. I’ve shared 3 simple prayers that were the ones that got me through some of my darkest times. I fully believe God wants to hear from us, no matter what we have to say.
My prayers have become more of an ongoing conversation with God. Yes, there are still times I have set aside specifically to pray. Beyond that, though, there are conversations when I don’t necessarily close my eyes and bow my head, but share my heart with God through my thoughts. And friend, let me tell you that I share all my thoughts – the good ones, the hurtful ones, the angry ones, the sad and broken-hearted ones. He is the One who created me; He knows and understands my feelings better than anyone.
In the praying / talking to God, we also need to be listening.
In the initial months of my marriage falling apart, it was easy to abide – to sit, to wait on God, to pray and listen. As life slowly eased back to normal, my day filled up with all the things that must be done. While returning to some normalcy was nice, I found I missed the time of just sitting. I missed the rest, the being still, and especially the listening to God.
I have had to be intentional in continuing to implement my times of being still before the Lord. Sometimes that means getting up a little earlier, other times it means choosing to set aside what I think is important and choose time with the Lord instead.
The times of obedience in abiding have been some of the most beautiful times. God promises to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and in those times of abiding, He shows me the precious ways He is fulfilling that promise in my life.
When your trust is shattered in marriage, the last thing you want is for someone to tell you to trust. Our entire nature seems to balk at that. Yet, here I am, doing just that – asking you to trust.
I know (firsthand) the pain of broken trust, of a shattered heart. I know the shame associated with terrible choices.
I also know that the only way to true healing is with Jesus. The One who created our hearts is the only one who can truly heal them.
I can’t promise that your marriage will heal and be restored, but I can promise that God Himself will make you whole. His love, His promises to you, don’t stop. They aren’t contingent upon your marriage.
They are based solely on Him – on His Word. They are rooted in His grace and mercy.
And while a failed or broken marriage may certainly feel like God has let you down in a mighty big way, we have to remember that it wasn’t God who made the damaging choices.
But it is God who can do the healing.
It is God who can raise the dead!
Friend, if your marriage has suffered a blow, if the enemy has knocked at your door, please remember this:
We serve a God who created this world from nothing. He spoke, and it came to be.
We serve a God who parted the Red Sea, who caused Gideon’s army of 300 to defeat the Midianites.
We serve a God who sent His Son to die for our sins, but who also raised him from the dead to give us hope!
Is there anything too hard for our God?
There is nothing too hard for our God!
Jesus came to die for our sins – all our sins. The sins and mistakes of others are covered by the same blood of Jesus that paid for my redemption.
While fighting for a very broken marriage is a hard thing to do, we can do it because of the blood of Jesus – because of the redemption that He offers.
But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed,
but to those who have faith and are saved.
If you’re fighting a battle for your marriage, I would love to hear from you so that I can be praying with you and for you.
About the Author:
Rebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in her own marriage. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – encouraging wives who are praying for redemption in their marriage.