life after disappointment

When God Says No

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Today I’d like you meet my precious friend, Mitzi. She and I met online and then had the pleasure of meeting in person at a writing conference in July. She is vibrant, compassionate and loves people! She has a gift for encouraging others and lightening their loads. I know you’ll love her down to earth style as she shares her story of overcoming disappointment.

It was 2014 and I had been preparing for a specific job for over a decade. I had received the required certifications, logged hundreds of hours of training, and waited for just the right opportunity to make my move.

 

I developed a very specific plan of action to ensure I was ready to apply the moment something opened up. In fact, all those years ago I had laid out every painstaking detail it would take to compete for a position of this caliber. I was very clear in my prayers that I basically had a 10 year time frame to reach this promotion destination, and then time would have run out.

 

I was in my twenty-fourth year of teaching when I felt God calling me to step out of the classroom and make the move to school administration. As teachers we call this, ‘moving to the dark side.’ I didn’t really care for the phrase much, but I understood the intent.

 

So I did it. I moved to the principalship of an elementary campus, and from there to high school principal, to a central admin position, believing along the way that God had placed me right where I needed to be to one day serve as a superintendent and lead a district.

 

As I garnered the necessary experiences to be qualified for a top spot, I paid close attention to districts around me with openings where I would potentially be a good fit. I will tell you that while I was searching for just the place God needed me, I was also fervently praying to not have to move away from my family, my home city, my aging mother, my friends, my church….you get the point. I really did believe that God would provide an opportunity close to home, as I was not willing to sacrifice what I had for what I wanted.

 

So when an opportunity presented itself close by I jumped at the chance. I had to strongly consider the knowledge that I had a favorable relationship with the district, but I also carried baggage with me that didn’t belong to me. It belonged to someone else. There were extraneous things going on behind the scenes that I didn’t have knowledge of, nor any control over.  

 

But I pressed on and weighed the pro’s and con’s of the position. I considered not applying but my conscience kept saying, ‘you’ll never know if you don’t.’ I continued to pray about it and decided to go through the paperwork process, submit the application packet and wait.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11

 

The day came when I received a phone call for a first round interview. I was pretty surprised that I had received a call at all, but I believed as long as God opened the door I would be willing to walk through it. The first round interview came and went. All pretty general stuff, but there were a few pointed questions that I knew had underlying meanings. I couldn’t quite figure out what the interview team was after, but I didn’t have a good feeling.

 

Fast forward to the next week and I received a second call to be one of the final three candidates for the position. Even with my ‘not so good feeling,’ I remained optimistic. The door was again open and I would be obedient and walk through it.

 

I can tell you from the moment the first question was asked that night, nothing was as it should have been. The interview team seemed to be very split on what they were looking for. One part of the group was going after the ‘baggage’ I couldn’t separate myself from. The other part of the team looked as though they were trying to showcase the positive qualities and characteristics I could bring to the table.

 

 

When God Says No

What I had hoped would be the start of something meaningful and wonderful can only be described as outside the scope of what the experience should have been.

 

When I finished the interview that night I left knowing I wouldn’t be the candidate of choice. I was disappointed, as this kind of position was something I had wanted and worked for. The real disappointment came though when I received the phone call from the search firm confirming that I had not been selected.

 

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18

 

There were a few tears of course, but surprisingly not as many as I had expected. This was a place I thought I had wanted to be. It was about tradition, and family, and going home in a sense. I kept analyzing how God could have let me walk this journey when He already knew the ending. But after a few days of replaying the sequence of events and wondering why, I began to see what God wanted me to see through all of this.

 

It was as if He said, “Mitzi, what were you thinking?” And while God knows I didn’t go into this experience with blinders on, I wanted to believe that people would see my value and know that I would serve them and their community to the very best of my ability. Ultimately though, God wanted me to see things for what they really were. He wanted me to see the situation I would be in and recognize it was not what I needed. He wanted me to see that the things I believed were important to move forward were not important to them. And, He wanted me to see that things were different. In the end, nothing I could have said or done would have changed their minds.

 

As I assessed the situation I believed I had failed. BIG TIME. I had not achieved that last big personal goal on my career list. I had been working on this for over a decade and it was the final checkbox for success. What could I have done differently?

 

Oh how the enemy misleads us to believe his lies. He wants us to believe that circumstances, failures, and successes define us. He wants us to believe that we have been ripped off, short changed, and wronged. None of that is truth.

 

We are defined by our maker and creator. It’s about who we are. It’s about how well we hold up in the midst of adversity; it’s about how well we deal with disappointments, big and small; and it’s about how well we rebound and see God’s hand of protection in all that we do.

 

There is no doubt that holding a grudge can take root in our hearts. It is our humanness that allows us to slip off into the brink of unforgiveness. In this case it would have been easy to do. But I knew I was better than that. I am a ‘Daughter of the King,’ who is bigger than any issue, challenge, problem, person, or situation. And I am most thankful that He sees the big picture and knows what is best for me, even when I don’t see it or understand.

 

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”–Isaiah 55:8-9

I could have become discouraged and lost my way. I could have hung my head in shame believing I had failed. But what came out of this disappointing situation was new life breathed in me and a totally new direction. I realized I was already in the perfect job doing exactly what I wanted and needed to do. And I had to remember that while things did not go the way I had planned, they did go the way I had prayed.

And that was God’s plan for me all along.

What a powerful testimony of overcoming disappointment! If loved this post, check out this video Mitzi made just for you today.  She’ll share some more insights in the journey of overcoming disappointment.

mitzi bio pic

About the Author:

Mitzi Neely is an inspiring motivational speaker who encourages women of all ages through her experiences and shortcomings. She has been blessed with a passion and love for people that stretches across the generations. Her heart is to lighten your load, while conveying her message that nobody’s perfect. So often God places certain people in your life at just the right moment; whether the reason is to help teach you, help you grow in your walk with Him, or to simply love and lift up others. Whatever your struggle or need, you will find encouragement through her words as she refreshes your heart and renews your joy.
Follow Mitzi at www.peacefullyimperfect.net because the joy of the journey is learning in His word together. You can also connect with Mitzi here:

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3 Comments

  1. Claire Koonce says:

    Thank you Mitzi ! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this very honest and heartfelt post. Our God is good…all the time!

  2. They didn’t go the way I had planned, but they did go the way I had prayed. That’s a valuable lesson we all need to learn, Mitzi. Thank you.

  3. This resonated with me so much! This summer I graduated with my M.S., the next step along the career path to my dream job. I was convinced if I just had the degree everything would start falling into place. But that didn’t happen, instead I heard a lot of “no.” I got frustrated with God; I asked him why he even let me go to grad school if I was going to end up a stay at home mom with a blog (nothing wrong with doing this, it just isn’t what I wanted). I am still in the process of overcoming this disappointment. I know God only works for my good though, so I continue to step out in faith… I just hope someday I can look back and understand why it was a no.

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